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In the delivery room

tokomon:

mother: is it a boy or a girl?

doctor: *puts baby between teeth* it’s a metaphor

tell us your most embarrassing story
Anonymous

jesusinc:

jesusinc:

So a while back i was at this party and i was the first girl to arrive and there were like 20 guys already there, we were all siting around, having a beer and whatnot when the dj arrived. So all the guys went out the front of the house to help set up the dj gear and it was just me sitting there alone in the backyard for like 5 minuets. I stood up to go follow them bc i was getting really bored when i realized something, my period had gone through my white pants and stained the while chair, i was humiliated, i had no idea what to do, i could hear the guys were coming back and i had to do something quick, time was running out. So i grabbed the chair, ran like 10 meters and threw it over the fence into the neighboring yard, i quickly walked back and tied my jacket around my waist. The guys soon returned and didn’t suspect a thing, i am amazing.

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thirstymuslim:

micklovich:

this is the single most pretentious thing ive ever seen in my life im gonna vomit

This is so cringe worthy I’m surprised the secret American pregnant teenager didn’t bust out laughing

spacerobot123456789:

*tips fedora at hazel grace* m’taphor

aljazeeraamerica:

Abu Ghraib closes, bitter memories of torture remain

The prison at Abu Ghraib was notorious for its treatment of those confined within its walls long before U.S. Army Private Lynndie England dragged a naked Iraqi prisoner around on a dog leash.
Located some nine miles west of Baghdad in the Abu Ghraib district, Iraqis steered clear of the huge prison complex where, for decades, political prisoners brought there would disappear, and only wails of torture could be heard through the metal bars that covered its high windows. Executions ran into the hundreds per year. Relatives coming to find even the bodies of their loved ones often left with nothing.
Now, after struggling to maintain order over a system that houses over two thousand detainees, the Iraqi government has announced it is closing Abu Ghraib’s doors and transferring its inmates to other prisons throughout the country.

Continue reading

aljazeeraamerica:

Abu Ghraib closes, bitter memories of torture remain

The prison at Abu Ghraib was notorious for its treatment of those confined within its walls long before U.S. Army Private Lynndie England dragged a naked Iraqi prisoner around on a dog leash.

Located some nine miles west of Baghdad in the Abu Ghraib district, Iraqis steered clear of the huge prison complex where, for decades, political prisoners brought there would disappear, and only wails of torture could be heard through the metal bars that covered its high windows. Executions ran into the hundreds per year. Relatives coming to find even the bodies of their loved ones often left with nothing.

Now, after struggling to maintain order over a system that houses over two thousand detainees, the Iraqi government has announced it is closing Abu Ghraib’s doors and transferring its inmates to other prisons throughout the country.

Continue reading

the-average-gatsby:

thanks joffrey

vanillish:

i saw this on netflix and i was like… wait a minute

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isn’t that…

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jusstagiirll:

vinebox:

IM WEAK

Lmao